cancer
i’m not a friend to cancer. but i’m no stranger to it either.
the only 2 people i’ve known to have cancer run in their family are my friends. one a genius high school kid. another a hardworking kind-hearted boy.
the first wanted to be a doctor, because his dad is a doctor. his sister is also on the way to be a doctor. but he had cancer and while he survived it as a baby, his heart didn’t leave without scars.
it held on for a while, but it tired itself out waiting for another one. the funeral was one of the somber white ones. filled with silence and shock for a life that is cut too short. his dad went up the stage and grab the mic. standing beside his little boy, he said he made a promise to him in one of the many hospitals they resided in. “whatever it takes, even if it takes travelling the whole world, i will find you a cure. no matter what. you will get better.” he never did. all the doctor degree and medical knowledge that his father possessed couldn’t save his son. i wonder then if he thinks it’s worth it to save countless lives, but not the one that mattered the most to him?
the second friend wants to be a doctor. so he studied hard for it and still does. he made it as a doctor. his goal is one day to reach the people out there with medicine and the good news of Jesus Christ. but somewhere along the way, he received one of the worst news in his life: his mom is diagnosed with cancer.
first time, she survived. she went into remission. this is the second time now and honestly no one is sure anymore. the doctor recommended them to not resuscitate if anything were to happen. what do you do when you’re being told to let go of the person you loved most? to not make them come back to a life of pain again just so you can hear their voice one more time? really makes me wonder again: what it feels like to be a son who wants to heal and save other sons and daughters, but couldn’t heal his own mom? isn’t that the greatest tragedy of all?
the only 2 people i’ve known to have cancer run in their family are my friends. I wonder why a genius high school kid and a hardworking kind-hearted boy had to see cancer face-to-face. i wonder why anyone had to. i wonder why they out of all people have to see how powerless they are in the face of the very thing they have worked very hard to stop.
cancer doesn’t care if you are a mother with another little one coming. it doesn’t care if you are a singer-songwriter whose career depends on his voice and now his life is on the line as well. it doesn’t care about how much impact you have done in your life or how much time you have wasted. what it does is tell you that life is precious and it keeps on going. it asks you this: what are you going to cherish the most with the little time that you have?
i will keep wondering why cancer tears through this world, from one family to the next. i don’t think there will ever be an answer. i’m not sure if any explanation will ever be sufficient. i don’t like how this ends. there are no conclusions, but that’s just life. it rarely ends the way we like it to.
however, i will ask myself that question from time to time: what are you going to cherish the most with the little time that you have? just to remind myself to hold those who are dear to me close, with however much time i am given. my life hasn’t ended yet. i keep it going with medications, friends, and laughter every day. i pray to God that these will be enough, and neither i nor anyone i love will face cancer ever again. i hope we never need such a reminder.
i’m not a friend to cancer. and yet, it has keep me kind to my friends and kinder still to strangers.